Your Story is Not Yet Written

Similar to writing, the story of the self is true in each particular telling. We change, the story unfolds and changes, but the telling itself is eternal.

Tessa McWatt

References

[1] Ship of Theseus (2004). Encyclopedia Britannica. Available at: https://www.britannica.com/topic/ship-of-Theseus-philosophy

[2] Fischetti, M. & Christiansen, J. (2021). Our bodies replace billions of cells every day. Available at: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/our-bodies-replace-billions-of-cells-every-day/

[3] Jackson, J. J., & Wright, A. J. (2024). The process and mechanisms of personality change. Nature Reviews Psychology, 3(5), 305-318. https://doi.org/10.1038/s44159-024-00295-z

[4] McAdams, D. P. (2019). “First we invented stories, then they changed us”: The evolution of narrative identity. Evolutionary Studies in Imaginative Culture, 3(1), 1-18. https://doi.org/10.26613/esic.3.1.110

[5] McAdams, D. P. (2018). Narrative identity: What is it? What does it do? How do you measure it? Imagination, Cognition and Personality, 37(3), 359-372. https://doi.org/10.1177/0276236618756704

[6] McAdams, D. P., & McLean, K. C. (2013). Narrative identity. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 22(3), 233-238. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721413475622

[7] Waters, T. E., & Fivush, R. (2015). Relations between narrative coherence, identity, and psychological well‐being in emerging adulthood. Journal of Personality, 83(4), 441-451. https://www.doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12120

[8] Adler, J. M., Lodi-Smith, J., Philippe, F. L., & Houle, I. (2016). The incremental validity of narrative identity in predicting well-being: A review of the field and recommendations for the future. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 20(2), 142-175. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868315585068

[9] Bauer, J. J., McAdams, D. P., & Pals, J. L. (2008). Narrative identity and eudaimonic well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 9, 81-104. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-006-9021-6

[10] Hallford, D. J., & Mellor, D. (2017). Development and validation of the Awareness of Narrative Identity Questionnaire (ANIQ). Assessment, 24(3), 399-413. https://doi.org/10.1177/1073191115607046

The Impermanence of Identity

Imagine a ship that is, part by part, replaced over time. The ship gets a new board, mast or sails each year. In time, all parts of the ship are replaced to the point where none of the original parts remain. This thought experiment, known as the Ship of Theseus, asks us to ponder whether things remain the same when all of their original parts have been replaced. The Greek biographer Plutarch offers the following account in “Life of Theseus:”

In this classic paradox, the ship belonging to the mythical Greek hero Theseus has its planks replaced every day. When all of its planks have been replaced, is it still the same ship? The paradox has often been used to prompt us to think about our identity and personality. What if it were not a ship that is being gradually replaced – but who we are, as individuals? Our life experiences comprise a constellation of memories that shape who we are. Between successes and setbacks, experiences of love, loss, and everything in between, our memories form an important, albeit imperfect depiction of who we are. Right down to the molecular level, our bodies change – about 330 billion cells (about 1% of all total cells in our bodies) are replaced every day. At this rate, in as few as 80 to 100 days, 30 trillion cells are replaced. On the cellular level, a new you every 80 to 100 days [2]. Small, yet sustained changes to our personality have been observed in studies and continue to be the subject of ongoing psychological research [3]. You may have realized that you are markedly different from when you started work, or even further back when you were in high school. Yet, the memories of the self from a time before remain. These memories give shape to and form our identities.

Stories of the Self are Stories of our Memories

What might your identity look like if you were to examine it more closely? If your personality took a certain shape and form, what might it look like? Dan McAdams asked himself and his team of personality psychologists this question more than 40 years ago [4]. McAdams and his team then surmised that personality was best understood as a personal story – one with “settings, scenes, characters, plots, and themes” [5]. Throughout human history, we have used stories to convey instruction, moral guidance, and experiment with imaginative worlds. Both scripture and literature held silent records of our myths, tales, and teachings. It is unsurprising then, that we continue to use stories – in this case, stories of ourselves, to give us a sense of who we are. The idea that stories form our identity is the core idea of an approach to understanding personality called narrative identity.

Narrative identity is, “a person’s internalized and evolving life story, integrating the reconstructed past and imagined future to provide life with some degree of unity and purpose” [6]. Narrative identities are in essence, stories of our memories. Return to the analogy of the self as an anthology of stories. How are the stories in your life organized and detailed? If you imagine events in your life as being loosely divided into specific time points as ‘chapters,’ do the chapters then transition logically from one to the next? Or are there abrupt, disconnecting threads between them? A strong sense of self – one that contributes to our well-being, comprises stories of memories that are coherent. This idea of narrative coherence is when we can tell a story of the self that includes necessary details – of time, place, people of the events that define our life – and when we can convey this story in an orderly manner [7]. Coherent stories of the self are crucially important for our well-being, even more so than other aspects of our personality [8]. Individuals who form coherent stories from themselves also ‘rewrite’ difficult experiences or challenges. Sorrows and failures are, with time, seen as transformative experiences – the coherent story also gives meaning to suffering, ultimately enhancing well-being [9].

A Coherent Story of the Self

Writing a coherent life story – and by extension, a coherent sense of identity and personality starts with asking if you are aware of your overall life story and how your memories have shaped you. How much do you rely on life stories to understand who you are? How much for your memories define your sense of self? Psychological research suggests that our sense of a coherent narrative identity can be thought of in at least three forms – temporal, causal, and thematic [10].

• Temporal coherence is an awareness and understanding that there is a logical sequencing of life events across different time points in your life. Can you easily sequence the chapters of your life events by when they occurred? How easily can you order the anthology of your life events?

• Causal coherence is the awareness of how your actions have impacted your life story. We want to know – from our stories, that we are the protagonists of our tale. Do you have a sense of agency over your circumstances? To what extent have your actions shaped your life story thus far?

• Finally, narrative coherence also includes a sense of thematic coherence. If your life story could be classified as a specific genre, where might your story be found in say, a library? An inspiring autobiography? A poignant memoir? A sense of thematic coherence means that you are aware of the common themes and arcs of your life story. What might these common themes be that have shaped your patterns of thought, emotion, and action?

The concluding chapter of your anthology remains unwritten. Narrative identity offers us a chance to see our sense of self – our identities and personalities, as an unfolding tale. How you choose to continue your story depends on the memories you choose to accumulate from this point on in your life. Who you choose to be more – or less of, depends on what you write for the next chapter of your life.

The ship wherein Theseus…returned [from Crete] had thirty oars, and was preserved by the Athenians down even to the time of Demetrius Phalereus, for they took away the old planks as they decayed, putting in new and stronger timber in their place, insomuch that this ship became a standing example among the philosophers, for the logical question as to things that grow; one side holding that the ship remained the same, and the other contending that it was not the same [1].

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